urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:peterferguson peter ferguson peter ferguson 2004-04-25T02:20:04Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:peterferguson:5173 2004-04-25T02:20:04Z 2004-04-25T02:20:04Z wasnt that insane when the bride ripped out that ladys eye and stepped on it bare foot?<br />did you notice how in the return of the living dead the cemetary is called resurrection cemetary. me neither.<br />I love how julie ege looked so buxom in that shaw brothers flick.<br /><br />My managers think im retarded. <br />so maybe if i rob the cash register it will be cool because im especial. I wonder if im allowed to wear my helmet to work?<br /><br />"Hammer Horror! Dragon Thrills! The First Kung Fu Horror Spectacular!"<br />I love movie taglines.<br /><br />i dont have anything to report. my life isnt a soap opera. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:peterferguson:4964 2004-04-14T20:13:55Z 2004-04-14T20:13:55Z Totally ripped from a movie:<br />Do you remember that little girl, you know, the pretty one, who started putting on weight all of a sudden?<br />hahahahaha, yes, that was me, you sure fixed that didnt you doctor?<br />remember the time you came back with that rash?<br />hahahaha, those were fever blisters them was!<br />thats what you told your wife wasnt it?<br />I need that body. or your wife will find out all the nasty things you have done.<br />what do you want it for? I wont do it if theres black magic involved.<br />Youll GIVE me that body.<br /><br />nutrition labels are kinda like novels.<br />noone uses instructions.<br /><br />Love<br />Richard. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:peterferguson:4630 2004-04-11T00:05:53Z 2004-04-11T00:05:53Z so whos down with my friend shitting in the road?<br /><br />ive been rapping for like 17 years man!<br /><br />I think jay z was related to the beatles, he was totally speaking for john when he was all, "because im young, and im black and my hat is low. Do I look like a mind reader? i dont know." <br />I should of totally been listening to Jay Z when i was 15. <br /><br />If your down with horror films, and your about to get married, I think you are a fucking moron if you put a picture of chucky and the female chucky from that movie. <br />Way to go!<br /><br />Im so cool that i walked home in the rain today!<br /><br />I heard you like to eat shit?<br /><br />Love<br />Peter Ferguson.<br /><br />P.S.<br />shut the hell up! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:peterferguson:4383 2004-04-06T14:56:36Z 2004-04-06T14:56:36Z I did work yesterday, and im going to do it again today. <br />Im listening to the mix cd i got in the mail from my friend dana. <br />and i think im going to eat some ice cream, and watch a movie in my bedroom. wearing pajamas. <br /><br /> I think that your going to feel as if your stuck with me, and i dont think im down with that. <br /><br />I havnt stabbed anyone, ive been keeping my rage in check lately. but if your out stabbing someone, you should totally choke up on the knife so noone can see it and just stab the person vigorously, thats a compton shank, if you do that your a hard ass.<br /><br />Love<br />Richard Nearing. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:peterferguson:4195 2004-03-29T22:39:22Z 2004-03-29T23:01:59Z Your mother rocked a leotard when she gave birth to you.<br /><br />Have you seen the new artrooms? <br />well they are fucking off the chain. but the people at my table are too cool for me to talk to. i fall under the semi cool crowd.<br />go home and complain to jesus about all the cumdumpsters at your school, and he probably wont care.<br /><br />well you know when your busy running from the law like me, your hella busy.<br />so im going to go rub my stomach until i vomit. <br />Later.<br />ethiopians arent protected by the emancipation proclamation, they are still pretty skinny for christs sake. <br /><br />The woman who interviewed me had no further questions, except for one, in which she asked if she could take me out to dinner, and take me home with her.<br />Im sorry ma'am but i dont know if my mother is down with me staying out with 30 year old women all night. <br /><br />If you own a fupa, everybody hates you.<br />im sorry.<br />and yes, im included in everybody. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:peterferguson:3914 2004-03-26T03:56:58Z 2004-03-26T03:56:58Z If something is broken you should just hit it until it works. So the next time your brain isnt working, Just hit yourself a few times until its working to your approval!-peterferguson.<br /><br />americans play up violence and nudity. <br />just look at the seven brothers meet dracula for christs sake! thats not even the real movies title!<br /><br />so i will leave everyone on a on a somber note. <br /><br />today when i woke up, there was no ice cream in the fridge, so i ate my dog.....<br /><br />Love,<br />Peter Ferguson. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:peterferguson:3767 2004-03-23T21:23:35Z 2004-03-23T21:23:35Z <img src="http://shotgun.agendasuicide.org/kaleidoscope/bateshan.jpg"><br />So i woke up this morning and the first thing i did was wash my hands.<br /><br /><img src="http://shotgun.agendasuicide.org/kaleidoscope/ham053.jpg"><br />Then i said whats up to my b-movie scream queen neighbor, and she served me breakfast. and she tied my shoes for me. <br /> <br /><img src="http://shotgun.agendasuicide.org/kaleidoscope/toolboxmurders---victim.jpg"><br />Its cool for her to kiss me "heavily" because her husband looks like this. <br />And yes everybody, she does have a large set of tupperware, and the latest GLADware.<br /><br />someone wrote me an email a hell of a long time ago back in february and I never opened it, but today when i checked my email it was no longer there. I hope that doesnt make me an asshole.<br />Even if it does, im not too concerned, im actually relieved.<br /><br />Im not a party person, so youll probably just have to come over to my house. well order pizza on a certain day of the week and watch a movie and get drunk. <br />i know that will be just fine.<br /><br />NOW EVERYBODY MAINTAIN YOUR FUPA!!!!!!!<br /><br />why the fuck did that wad of gayness michael jackson call up the fuckin boyz 2 Men?<br /><br />He thought it was a delivery service. (thats a joke)<br /><br />I was listening to the radio and they were playing some music and i found out the origin of the word bitch. Its because of a woman named caroline. shes the reason for the word bitch. heard it on the radio.<br /><br />Yours truly,<br />Richard Nearing. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:peterferguson:3550 2004-03-23T00:06:37Z 2004-03-23T00:06:37Z mcdonalds will be calling me any day. i took a baseball bat and hit a few employees because my order wasnt correct. <br />Thats not allowed?<br />I geuss next time your at mcdonalds and your order is fucked up youll just have to shoot the place up so noone can make you pay for the shit you would of fucked up with your bat.-peterferguson.<br /><br />You know, I could call you every day and we could talk for at least 30 minutes. The cellular phone has free minutes after 9 on weekdays and on the weekends at anytime. <br />Maybe youll get nosy and see that, your impossible to get a hold of, and you never check your internet mail. <br /><br /><br />I watched this video called mr. shatter last night. In the movie shatter gets beat up and some chinese guy picks him up out of the alley and takes him into his massage parlor. He gets put on this bed. The actor looks hungover in almost every scene he is in, he admits it on the commentary. and as he is surveying the room there is a picture of a topless woman riding a motor bicycle. its the funniest thing ive ever seen in a movie. The woman seems so out of place, its unbelievable. then he bitches at this lady who was going to give him a massage, he says "If i wanted a massage id walk through the goddam door and pay for it!" then he gets a massage. <br />Hes a professional hitman. who gets paid for his work..........always. <br /><br />This is how the bodygaurd would of went if i wrote it:<br />Are you ready to die for me?<br />............ill have to get back with you. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:peterferguson:3190 2004-03-22T01:52:33Z 2004-03-22T01:52:33Z did you notice in the abominable sowman how whenver someone talked about yetis, some kind of chanting would play? i did.<br /><br />i thought tapanga was pretty.<br /><br />pollo tropical is really fucking good. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:peterferguson:3054 2004-03-19T23:22:57Z 2004-03-19T23:22:57Z claustraphobia is a disease. <br />Lacunae is hawaiian for hole. which hole im not sure.<br />caniculli is hawaiian for shut the hell up, because you know in hawaiian shut the hell up is all one word. <br /><br />let me give a shout out to some special ladies while i think of what i could say.<br />First, id like to give a shout out to the woman of my dreams, the gladware woman. i love you.<br />britney, thank you for making me dinner all those nights.<br />madeline, your hella smart, and i love your 90 year old body.<br />shakira, your cooking sucks.<br />christina, do those fucking dishes.<br /><br />The presidential election is coming up, and yours truly is running. so on your ballots remember, peterferguson is the one you want to run your country. where will i lead you? i dont fuckin know. <br /><br />i am going to make some phone calls if youd like me to call you.....<br />kepp on wanting. in fact you could want in one of your hands while you shit in the other and when you find out, post it here. on my livejournal.<br />Remember god loves you, and so does peterferguson.......well kinda.<br /><br />oh yeah, represent you AA pride, and only pronounce half of the words you say. and ask is pronounced AX.<br /><br />yours truly,<br />peter ferguson urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:peterferguson:2669 2004-03-16T01:34:46Z 2004-03-16T01:34:46Z i went to the video shop today and asked for necromantiks, didnt have it so i calmly whipped out my .42 calibur (thats a pistol, not like a joke) and shot the place up. I told the guy if he had a problem with it, I didnt care. I also told him my name was franklin martinez, that george bush was my father, and if he went to police, id probably be arrested. <br /><br />Peter ferguson should have his eyebrows shaved, and shot, publicly. hes related to mel gibson who wrote the real bible last year. and if you cant believe it. Sit right there until you fuckin believe it. <br /><br />My mother is afraid that if she is rude to telemarketers theyll slash her tires. and we live next to leaders of the taliban. <br /><br />Ladies who know tupperware are hot.<br /><br />I had to use my fathers restroom today, and his underpants were lying on the floor, and i lookes at them, and there were dark streaks on them. i dont know what they were but im pretty sure that it was shit. <br /><br />she clocks in at 160 pounds. but thats just a fact, doesnt really matter.<br />I wish i had something funny to say about this kid in my history class who dyed his hair green today. but i regress, that i dont.<br /><br />richard nearing is my hero, <br />yours truly, <br />kisses and hugs, <br /><br />Peter ferguson. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:peterferguson:2305 2004-03-15T03:46:18Z 2004-03-15T03:46:18Z I just got off the phone with britney spears, because she knows im toxic. during the convo, she was all like, peter, when im 64, will you still need me, will you still feed me? i calmly replied. No, then i said, "look i dont cook, if you want to get fed ask fuckin christina. JEEZUZ!" <br />Avril lavigne, just dropped off the groceries,<br />Christina aguilera is coming over, to do my laundry, and cook dinner for me. its so cool she does that for me, i dont even have to thank her. im just like hey, do that laundry for me please, and id like chicken AND rice for dinner. GOT IT? <br />then she does it. shes a REAL good listener.<br />thats just how it workswhen you pack heat like me.<br />im trying to get it where she feeds it to me. but i think that will come later on in the relationship we have going. Or maybe i just need a bigger knife?<br />i watched my neighbour go outside and check her mail today, she must have not realized it was sunday.<br />everybody should go to their video store and shoot the place up if they dont have a copy of necromantics. <br />because god loves necrophiliacs just as much as he loves everyone else. you were just born to be that way. Right......................<br />Your truly,<br />peter stanly ferguson<br />stanly is just my middle name, its kind of like a joke. you know, not a real name. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:peterferguson:2241 2004-03-12T23:22:18Z 2004-03-12T23:22:18Z God gave YOU a fucking brain to ingest, The Passions of the Christ. yep.<br /><br />today is teusday. actually its friday. that was kind of like a rhyming joke. moron.<br />this is a bomb ass conversation:<br />WHAT COUNTRY ARE YOU FROM?<br />what????<br />IVE NEVER HEARD OF WHAT, DO THEY SPEAK ENGLISH IN WHAT?<br />what??<br />SAY WHAT AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER I DARE YOU. SAY IT!!!!<br />DOES MARSELLUS WALLACE LOOK LIKE A BITCH?<br />no.<br />THEN WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO FUCK HIM LIKE A BITCH???<br />(the kid doesnt know, and then he and all his friends get shot, except for one, as the men with suits leave with some other guy)<br />(they should of had shotguns)<br />thers more to that conversation, one guy resites a bible verse, but thats the good parts i remember. but i think it was totally ironic they had that conversation....<br /><br /><br />If you kill a white hen and a black rooster, your probably a satanist. its in the devil rides out. for christ's sake! <br /><br />People in madrid will probably go stomp on some tomatoes in the street soon, because fucking spring is coming. im glad they do it because the roaches swim to madrid to eat all that rotten tomato shit. way to go madrid. <br />Actually, that last part i just made up. i dont know if roaches can actually swim all the way to fucking madrid. but, everything else ive written in this is true. even the part about today being tuesday. <br /><br />"WE emit fecal matter." melanz, dana urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:peterferguson:1880 2004-03-11T22:06:00Z 2004-03-11T22:06:00Z my school is out of control. some girl totally gave the bitch out to my art teacher. I couldnt stop laughing. there just needs to be some heroin dealers and prostitutes for under ten dollars. now that would be a hard ass school. <br />I have to find a job. no applications at rotellis. <br />I totally passsed the test yesterday, i dont have to go talk about bullshit again. <br />so for all you brains out there, my father told me that jessica simpson doesnt know the answer to this question. what weighs more? a pound of nails, or a pound of feathers?<br />I didnt realize it was that girl because her face wasnt stuck to her boyfriends. <br />oh yeah, thats an inside joke so if you laughed, chances are, your a moron. <br />no apologies. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:peterferguson:1763 2004-03-10T03:08:22Z 2004-03-10T03:08:22Z let me give a shout out to my all time favorite lady, madeline albright. i love you. from the deepest reaches of my heart. and gladware lady, i totally love you too. <br /><br />My anatomy class was raw as hell, some girl said, HOLD UP!!, and then proceeded to put gum in this girls hair, spit on her, and punch her in the face. and i just watched. the other girl who was abused just shook her head. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:peterferguson:1292 2004-03-04T02:11:12Z 2004-03-04T02:11:12Z My parents are watching some television, and my brother was on American Idol. my other brother shat his red underpants. awesome. I had to make about fifty u-turns in d-Lo's neighborhood area. i painted some boxes with my boys and the kid who is JEWIE. and right now im going to watch this movie called, Frankenstein created woman. one of those brother stories didnt happen. <br />Eternally Yours,<br />Richard Nearing. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:peterferguson:1085 2004-03-02T22:18:29Z 2004-03-02T22:18:29Z I tried to construct a cover page for some doofy ass presidents. and patrick called me a fuck up.<br /><br />yeah, he got to see the knife too!<br /><br />my father called me a money sponge......yesterday. so im going to go and uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh<br />use my magical powers to suck up money. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:peterferguson:946 2004-03-02T21:44:08Z 2004-03-02T21:44:08Z The governor called my house today.<br />and my mother erupted in a scene.<br />There is no gas in the jeep? but i can still drive to indoor? <br />big j almost got to see my new knife.........and the pistol. <br />in my life time ive eaten a gagillion granola bars. <br />calumet drive says, "Dana is super hot."<br />Because uhhhh.......its evil urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:peterferguson:507 2004-02-17T02:31:26Z 2004-02-17T02:31:26Z *this is rich's first entry and i made it....like woah<br /><br />*everyone there is no doubt in my mind that this journal if pursued successfully by its owner will have some crazy ass shit on it.........whata promiseeeeeeeee